It's the holidays!! :D

燥了好久，久等，该死的暑假来了!! ヽ(´▽｀；)/♪

Though it's not really considered to be anything major or long, more like a study break in disguise coming to think that UT2 would be soon haunting me after the holidays end, but I'm kinda enjoying it. d(-_^)

Watching dramas after dramas, animes after animes, it's kinda SHIOKKKK~ 

Not to mention, outing after outing. I feel like a caged animal finally let out of my damn cage! ヽ(●-`Д´-)ノ

Time really passes so fast. I have to say, even though I hate to admit it. 

It seems like I have just came back from Bangkok not long ago, being in the freshman in my second semester. 

Now, I am on my year2, 5weeks more before the whole semester comes to an end, with my 2012's trip coming in a month's time.

*Saying about that it's 5 more days to X'mas. Guess what? No mood. （－－）*

I think at this rate, I would soon become an old hag. 

真的是岁月如流沙，想要抓也抓不抓住。(>_<)

Saying about time, it;s already about 2-3 weeks since I have started dieting and workout. 

Can't imagine that I have finally made the decision to make that change. 

Starting to eat well, stop eating that much or as frequent as I used to. Controlling the kind of food I eat, the time I restrict myself from eating. 

Forcing myself to do at least some form of exercise before the day end.
 (even though I haven't done today's, shall do sit-ups before I go to bed)

My gymming buddieeeeeeeeeeee!! (ノ≧┏Д┓≦)ノ

*Like I said music has never let me down. Be it destress, emotional breakdowns, sleep, even working out!!!*

But still not feeling or seeing any results yet. Somehow, it's really quite demoralising.
Ever since then, I fear to stand on the weighing machine, really fear that after I stand on it, knowing that I haven't even losing an ounce even after the hunger and such.
I would lose all forms of strength and determination.I am really scared.

But I cannot give up. 死都不可以。ヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ

For me, or for the people who support me and care for me. 

The aches that I have suffered every time I worked out, the hunger and cravings I have suppressed. 

我会加油的。(￣^￣)

I will make it to the end, with a healthier and slimmer me! 

ー(￣～￣)ξ NEW YEAR RESOLUTION FOR 2012!!

Rough patch. Pffftt.

As much as I want to move on with life and not whine like a spoiled Singaporean kid.

I seriously need a way to whine out all that I can. Not through keeping it any longer or talk it out with my dear ones. I have never seriously felt life to be so demoralising.

Having to be nagged and scolded every single day, having to be misunderstood by people you once cared about and worst of all, have no where to vent. Life never seemed to be so lifeless. Having to live normally seemed like a chore.

As much as I wished to cry it all out and sleep to my heart's content and wake up to that cheerful me, this all seems to be a luxurious privilege too good to be fulfilled.

For I could face much more, if I just heck cared about the world and lived in my own lalaland.

The only thing I can do is sallow everything back down and stayed strong.

I am really surprised how one could act under the change of situation.

I am really tired. How I wished that everything could just stop and return to normal.

Give me my life back. I am really tired. Really tired.

I am thankful for those who cared, and understood. I am sorry I can't reciprocate what you have done back. Sorry for being so stressed up and bullshity, deep down I have appreciate what you done, your efforts to cheer me up. Going that extra mile to understand the situation I am in.

Trying to make me happy through every means I can afford. If it wasn't for you guys, I think I would have collapsed.

Thanks for being that tinge of honey, when everything is bitter and sourish. Thank you.

Thankful for the creator of blogs, ranting out unconditional really works.

As much as I hope to stay at this state of tiny happiness, it's time I go back to reality.

Where life have to go on, Mom's still going to come back at the same time, my RJ's still gonna close its submission at 1159.

The day it failed on me.

Remember the great new reliance I told you guys I had?

The beautiful white tours I now bring everywhere I go?

It broked :(

Seriously cannot believed that this happened to me. Like seriously?Pffttttt.

*Forever alone face*

Guess I have to push back that review that I wanted to do till my replacements come. :/

#Livewithit

I'm just that zombie.

I don't know why I would break down today. At this moment.

Maybe my inner self is surpressing all this a little too long and a little too hard.

And maybe I just don't want my sister to go through the same path as I did.

Even though it will be a little unfair for me then.

能救一个是一个。

Maybe, also, I am just sick and tired of being a zombie, going to school everyday without a fucking aim. Just going to school, for the grades, for the expectations. It's tiring.

This is not the life, I wanted, I wanted my kind of life to be exciting.

I want to live with burning passion, to do what I love, what I am good at.

But what can I do?

This night had proven everything.

Struggling and breaking down would just show to others how weak you are inside.

At the end of the day, even how much I struggle, nothing will change. Nothing.

After tonight, I will still be a Republic poly student, taking a diploma in Biomedical sciences.

With a fucking GPA that me and my parents are not satisfied with.

Best solution is just to continue to be that freaking zombie that empty vessel and pretend nothing happen. I am still happy and contented with every day. There's nothing wrong with me.

There's nothing wrong with me.

At least that the least I can do. For now.