Happy change.

Most of you would have already know through my Instagram that I have once again started dieting and the whole "I want to lose weight" shit. ✌

Yes, but to be honest, it wasn't as intense as the one I got the previous time round. Yes, I'm working out more intensely as compared to the last time, but food-wise. I'm still taking my carbs and my all so delicious food. ☺ 

The weight loss might not have been as quickly and as obvious as the previous time, but I'm enjoying the process from this time round so much better than previously. At the very least, I'm healthier than I'm previously (with a happier belly too, hence lowering the chances of a redraw all and to top it all up. I'm losing weight!! YAY!) 

YAY TO CHANGES!! 

(That's a first. :p) 

Disappointment.

It has been long since I have written a post, always had the intention to write a post, but never had took the effort to sit down and got it down into words.

BUT, very sadly, instead of some marvelous news to share. I am back to rant. :)
Yup, happy ranting good old time.

The main agenda of today's rant is no different from the other times; being fat.
I seriously don't get the part about being fat. I mean seriously.

I don't understand the part why fatter/chubbier people are always the ones being labelled, laughed at or poked for. I don't understand why fat people are always the first ones to get judged and get reactions from people around that they shouldn't exist on Earth.

Mind you fit and lean asses out there, like you fat people are humans too, like you, they are dreams, they have minds, they have hearts that give them something that every humans have; feelings.

I get the point of perspective that likewise, me too, despise of really, really morbidly obsessed people since even from my point of view, it really took some effort of letting go to get there and therefore, maybe skinny people like you and the other majority out there feel likewise about us fat people.

Well, understandable, since living till this age of my life, what amount of nasty fat comments I haven't heard before.

OH, RIGHT. NASTY COMMENTS FROM FRIENDS.

It might have been a mindless comment, like the many other bullies have said to me when I couldn't take it anymore and took things to the discipline master.

Even though we aren't close, I always thought and took you as a friend, honestly. Deep down.
Well then again, maybe these are just all my personal feelings. The word THOUGHT says it all.  Honestly, maybe it is because of this, I am really offended with what you have said, be it what or who the status was for.

There's a thousand evil things I would have done to you right now, but then again, what for, my friend?

Maybe my choice to let it go because you're my friend might make me regret it in the future, but then again what do I gain from... 

Friend, friend, friend. I am really disappointed in what you did. Do you even know?

No, should I say, do you even care?

 — feeling disappointed

Fat oily rants.

Being fat was never really an issue to me, so what I'm fat. I'm still me. The problem about being fat is about having to not look good in anything but cheap and ordinary clothes. Anything other than that, forget about it ughh. For us, nothing is trendy, nothing is new it is not that we don't have fashion sense like those of you fashionista out there. It is that everything we wear will make us look like a big round ball. 

As much as I hated that part, being fat is also one of the reasons I'm always looked down upon. Why? Don't ask me. I never understood that part either. Being fat doesn't mean we don't have a mind, a heart or a soul. We too, like the pretty humans out there, have feelings too, so stop being all out there trying to damage our confidence when we don't even have much left in the beginning.

Today's incident just made me clearer to my lost goal. I was lost, but thanks to your one glance. 

I will prove it to all that once looked down to us. We are like you too. Being fat doesn't make us freaks. 

It is time. I hope I push it through this time.

加油吧，Shermaine. 你可以的。

语无伦次。

Spent a day doing nothing, wasted I should say.

To be honest, really had the feeling to go out and gym, it's really time to get back into shape, can already feel all the fats climbing back to my ass and tummy. Pants are all getting tighter, BUT then again, the haze's really making it a difficult mission impossible. 

You could call me a 天生贱骨头 maybe, always wanting to do the wrong things at the wrong time. 

Like feeling to practice a difficult song in the midst of a sore throat and cold, doing housework while having UT the next day waiting, and like to day, having the desire to run and lift weights in the midst of this horrible haze. HA, well. That's me. :D 

Welcome to my world. 

Maybe it could be the haze, that I wasted a day sleeping and watching videos, watching variety shows ranging from 康熙來了all the way to 百变大咖秀. Yup. I am that weird. However watching all that, made me started thinking. 

韵味，气质，这两样东西真的是一个人不可缺少的。

Seriously,  applicable to whether being yourself, or just simply how the world is trying to be anybody else but themselves. This two things are a MUST HAVE and thinking back, it is also this two things that made me fall for the artistes I once or still inspired. 

Sadly, just so sadly to say, I am still one common individual that has still haven't found mine. 

Sadly to say, I think it's hidden in that layer of fats in me. To be honest, I never thought that being fat is something to be sad about in the past, but as I grow older, being fat is seriously a disadvantage. 

Being fat, you walk slower than people, you don't look good in ANYTHING, some people think that you're just dumb and worthless. WELL. It's my fault anyway that I become fat. :/

YUP. Pretty self- explained.

Hi y'all.

Seemed really long since I have made a decent post about anything huh? 

Life have been hectic ever since I have last genuinely updated in like April? O.O Didnt knew what had gotten into me, but just didn't had the mood to got to update even though there was really a considerable amount of things to update. 

For one major one was going and coming back from a school trip to china, two regarding my graduation, three that I will be going to be twenty-one pretty soon and that I will be holding my second ever party in my life; first being the one when I had when I was one :p and four, stepping into a new stage of life where I will be recieving education from a private institute. 

Seemed like pretty much going on huh?

Yeah, I think so too. Maybe that's the reason why I am not feeling the mood to write anything. 

Nah. That's not true. 

I'm just most of the time busy and moody over things. Well, a lot of things. Too much that I don't know where to begin anymore. :/ 

Well, blame no one since I am not good in anything to begin with. 

Not good in doing sales, handling stress, studying and the things I love. Just not good in doing anything in general. 

Hmmm. 

Life. 

Where are things always greener on the other side? 

And here comes my mood swing again, making my mind go viral again about how unfair life is. 

Till then. Bye. 

It's on!!

Seriously hope that it would turn out fine. :|

我。。。

终于，毕业了。

这三年的酸甜苦辣，

这三年来建立的友情和感情，

这三年所得到的教导，

我应该会铭记一生。

谢谢每个让我在这三年的每个人。