我是爱哭鬼。

我是爱哭鬼，名副其实，实质名归。
自小就很爱哭，不能吃饭，哭。摔倒，哭。比赛输了，哭。不能拥有最新的玩具，哭。考试不及格也是哭；是一个泪很倾谈的女生。

不过越来越大，心的枷锁也越来越重，懂事，慢慢的不喜欢在人面前哭，不管家人，闺蜜也好。不喜欢哭。

虽然知道，哭了，他们也会很乐意的帮我分担我的不愉快，可是总觉得在他们面前哭犹如把痛苦和悲伤慢慢的往他们心里丢去。就算哭完了，问题还是存在，而反而让多个人为我担心。这种麻烦人的感觉不好受。

可是爱哭鬼始终还是爱哭鬼。
不过与其选择在人前哭，我选择用别的方法哭出自己的苦。
电影啊，短片啊。越催泪，我越爱。

就算现在也是久久一次，把憋久了的一次性的在独自一个人的时候悄悄的通通哭出来。

就如此刻，两个短片，十五分钟，看的我一把鼻涕，一把泪的。感觉好爽哟～ ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

阅读着的你们肯定觉得我奇怪，不过还有什么办法呢？

ｖ（＾＿＾ｖ）♪ 我是爱哭鬼耶咦耶～

AFA'13

Long time no see, long time no see.

Long time no see, long time, long time no see.

Hello, people of the internet.

How have you guys been! :)

So if you guys are an otaku like me, you probably should know that last two weeks go is the annual AFA 2013! :O *hands in the air* WOOOOHOOOO. LIKE A FINALLY. 

BUT guess what? For this time, unlike the many times, the timing isn't placed on a holiday for me like most of the time :( and worst of all? It's on my second lab paper and 5 days before my final exam. LIKE WTF? -,-

Kill me please.

AND SO... I contemplate and contemplate and contemplate and... contemplate....

Final paper... AFA... final paper... AFA. 

And in the end. Like the post titles says, I went. So much for being 21 years old, a young, new, disciplined adult! My ass. HAHAHAHA. I just knew that even if I didn't go, I wouldn't end up studying at home. Instead, I will just be thinking and thinking and thinking about it like the many events I missed like the JJ lin one when the UTs were around. So, I went in the end. :/

 

With my favourite cap, new shirt, new bag and new shoes. 

AFA, here I come!

(Also known as another day of squandering your parents money.) 

But come to think of it now, there isn't much I bought, I spent most of my time taking pictures with the displays there. *gulp* COOL MAN. 

Well, let the pictures do the rest of the talking. :)

End.

As much as I hate to say, I finished my first ever module in uni. 

No longer a freshmen I guess. (I wasn't supposed to be one anyway.) 

Ups and downs, highs and lows. 

What's upon me now are the stress from the upcoming papers and the weighage those papers are carrying. Hell, they are heavy. 

I really hope I ace them. Like really. The McQ's disappointing enough. I don't need another downfall. 

Anyways, although I should say the path of this module isn't really smooth, loads of bumpy roads I should say too; people ignoring me, having to solo most of my lab sessions. It's crazy especially for the fact that I am pretty weak when it comes to lab. I would never think about solo-ing if I was in poly. Most probably fail and be dragged out. （−＿−；）Just saying.

But I have come far I guessed. I'm glad I end up staying with the small group even though it's a tougher route. I really learnt much much more. 

Thank god for sending "贵人" all around me to help me adapt. 

Having to thank and be grateful. The only thing I wish now is... Do well, Shermaine. Do so fucking well. (￣Д￣)ﾉ

茫然。

原本空闲而没有写记事本习惯的我，该说就算有试着写的时候，也从来没撑过一个月吧～ 太幸福了。

说难听点，就是 no life 可言。不是上学还是上学，要不就考试，写屁。来来去去不就是一样的东西。写了也是白写，这种小事用脑记就行了。

可是，惋惜的人总得长大，因上了大学的关系，不得不开始拥有及学习的安排起自己的时间。

惊喜的是，写着写着已经写了第二个月了，可见我很多朋友以前是有多忙啊，个个都比我早有此习惯。

好的是，写着写着，有的更清楚知道自己的行程，因此为不同的事情安排时间。

坏的则是像我刚列排完的十一月，一看就好像卖身给学校这样。课的时间不是在周末那种鸟不生蛋的时间，要不就是那种因为太中间的时段而浪费了一整天不能安排东西的那种吉时。

真的时，尼马的。

最惨的还是大考一完，马上就上新科。

科导，你到底有完没完啊～

还我自由！

我该嘛那么快就要进修呀～(╥﹏╥)

第一个考试的成绩终于出来了。
分数，真的是惨不忍睹。

虽然，自己考了之后，以近有自知之明，可是还是伤心的可以。
可能是因为自己也知道情况不一样了吧。

以前，考的再烂，还有daily grade加持，辅助。
现在？ 4个考试定江山。

也可能是，因为上了大专之后也没真正考过什么大烂，特烂的成绩。
现在，不适应，心真的有够痛。

现在，其中一个，惨不忍睹。
上周考的，感觉也 not here not there.
这次不完蛋也难。

老妈看到我哭，心疼的安慰我别哭。
可是一心想着从考；学费真的好贵！

不哭才怪。

加油吧，希望后面两关能旗开得胜，返回一成。

笑一个。

School.

Hello, the few people that reads my blog.
It's me again. (obviously) back to write a post, since I just have a sudden realisation that I haven't been doing some serious blogging about everything.
Maybe for the fact that I have been busy with a lot of shit recently that I haven't really got any mood to blog anymore.

Shall tune my time capsule to two months. Since I I think I haven't really blabber much about life since then.
Well, something major happened; I STARTED SCHOOL. Yup. I started university and all I can say about that is. I don't like it! :( So much for integrating to university as a PBL students. Lectures, solo-ing lab stuff cause no one wants to partner with me and closed-booked exams. BOOOOO.

(Liar liar, pants on fire.)

I thought I would adapt fast, although honestly, I am not a person who adapts fast to environment, but hey, I have been trained to do all these since primary to secondary school right? I should be alright. (That's all self-consolation.) In the end, it isn't as smooth-sailing as I have expected, but hey, I guess I am learning right? One month down, I am getting used to the feeling of doing my own lab shit, I am slowly adapting to having to listen to 3 hours straight of lecture. I making new friends.

There's only one thing left I guess. EXAMS. Two exams down, the first one was horrible, I didn't even understood what the paper was saying. FANTASTIC BABY.

The second paper I had just 2 days ago was the demoralising one. Making me feel as if I am not cut.

The different highlighting factor was widely because I understood the paper, knew what was the various questions asking for and all that shit, but the bullshit come when I needed the minute details for the various concepts. That's when the shit comes in. 

For almost 3-4 years of my life, I never had to memorise no shit, all I have to do is know the concepts, understand it and the rest would be covered by open book notes, nothing else. 

Now? No way that's going to work. :( 

I really don't know how freaking long it would take me to forget this method of studying and move on, but I have to do it fast since final exam is like just less than 2 weeks away. :'( 

Just kill me someone. Please. 

Never felt so useless before. 

Acting happy and strong doesn't help anymore. 

Well, all I am hoping now, is may this post become a joke, in the 2 years to come after I graduate. 

Stay strong, Shermaine. 

Birthdays.

ヽ(oﾟｪﾟo)ﾉ

Always loved birthdays since I'm a little kid, you receive presents, get to eat cakes and good food...until... I had friends. Like real friends that be there for you, do things for you, inclusive of doing sweet birthdays to brighten up your birthdays. 

It seemed that doing the same thing back would be mandatory, 以上往来嘛。

Year after year, it becomes a nightmare. 

I mean no joke. 

Meaningful, heartfelt cards, thoughtful gifts. Oh not to mention the effort and all the late nights. 

Jumble it all up, a chore worst than any jobs in the world, because your not doing things to meet up with other's but the standard of your own, year after year with the standards rising to surpass last year.

So much for 超越ing 自己。

Oh, not to mention that the nightmare becomes worst if you are like me, who have loads of friends whose birthdays fall on the same month? 

(Just seemed to clique with October babies exceptionally well.)

Burn your pockets full of holes and challenging the limits of your liver. 

Although, the end products and the appreciation would always make everything worthwhile, but... I'm tired.

Ultra tired. Just let me off. 😭😣

I'm glad October is almost over. 

Shall celebrate gloriously with a hydrating mask and my 俗剌到不行的hello kitty睡衣。

Yes, people. Laugh.

I need a laugh at myself too. 

I really need a break. A cleanse for my soul and body. 

Down with birthdays, comes my exams.

不想听到肝爆的声音也不行，加油吧，Shermaine。

Shall stop here, since I don't even know what I'm even writing already with all the mixture of Chinese and English usage all over the place. 

My brain really needs rest.