Last post as a 18-year old.

Yeps, as the title says.
But before you start be warned that it's damn long, if you have no interest in knowing how a nobody passed the 18th year of her life, stop reading. NOW.

But sadly if you want, for the 18 years, going 19 years of my life. Life have been normal.

Not very exciting. But happy, that's for sure, although there are up and down, but somehow the downs are those things that made me who I am now and the happy is what that made my life more colourful.

For me, my 18th year of my life had been interesting.

I adapted from the reliant secondary school kid, into a more independent kid that I have to be.

*Looks like a super failed makeover picture :P, but you get the point*

Know how to talk better, present better, prepare better. Know how to interact with people of different personalities better, learnt that the world isn't all really pure and that not all people are as innocent and as loving as they might seemed to be.

Most of all, I learnt something called responsibility, take blames, take things on my stride even though it is suckish, don't skip school and all those shit that I used to do when I am secondary school. But at the same time I also learnt to do a lot of things that I will never did in the past.

So much for being ignorant. :/

But to be on the more cheerful side, in this year,

I have got to know a lot more awesome friends proving that people in poly aren't all fake. There are still those that care, those who be friend with you because of who you are not, what you might seem to be.

Even if you don't really even physically know them. :P

Also, to me, during the 18th year of my life, I have also turned into a more choosy me.

Seriously as much as I hate to say it, but I think this year would have to be the year that I have bought the most number of audio accessories than I ever would in my entire life already.

And in this process of trying to find the best replacement for my pairs of sony headphones, I have become pampered and spoilt for choices. From the normal 30$+ headphones I used in the past, it has now improved itself to 70$+ and I never think I would go back to the stage where my earpieces all cost about less than 20$ - 30$.

I should also really stop buying them already.

Just look at the pairs I own now and this is not all, in the process, some died on me, some I gave it away, some got lost. Oh well :/

Well. What to do. Some things are not refundable once you get them. :/

The 18th year of my life, going to be soon gone. Like evapourated milk and never coming back.

But no matter what, I have to give,

The 18th year of my life, a big (Y)

Contentment.

Just really felt like doing something I really preferred more before getting head on to my work.

There isn't really a real purpose behind this post because I am kinda lost with all this shit in life.

1 more day, to being a 19 year old kid.

Life still goes on. More to come.

PS: Really didn't regret owning this baby. Turned into one of the main accessories I use now.

Might do a review on it. Might. If the UT do not kill me.

I got my piece of media entertainment. (Y) #Awesomelikeshit

So I should get going to my work if I don't want to feel like I got ran over a firetruck.

Joy of sharing.

Sometimes, it's not always about yourself.

It's not getting yourself the new shirt, new camera, new earpiece, self pampering that you would gain happiness.

Sometimes, it's seeing people happy and touched by the thoughts and actions you have for them.

The kind of happiness is so much more than what I have when I pamper myself.

It's really awesome :)

The joy of sharing.

Late night movie emotional rant :x

Sometimes, I just think that, movies are so fake.
I have seen loads, not saying that they are bad, or anything superficial.

There loads of good movies, with good inside story/message.

But what happen in the movie stays in the movie and will never be real. Never.

For dreams, in the end, we still can't exactly throw away what we have now and really heck care and chase our dreams.

Beauty and the beast? Who cares so much about what's inside you, what greets you first is the person's looks, if the looks are screwed. Well. You know what happen.

Yes, it is true that, through movies, it triggers feeling that people are having inside of them, that's why they cry, when they see a movie, when they felt that the movie is telling how they feel out in whatever way.

But at the end of the day, when the "magical" feeling of that movie wear off.

Are we still going to feel that compassion and sympathy to that?

No. You will still be who you are before. Sadly.

No matter what. Because of what we go through are all different, at the end of the day, rich kids are still never going to feel how really poor kids are feeling to have the need to worry that they will have no dinner tonight.

Or the fitter kids will never understand that it's not that the fat kids are lazy toward maintaining their weight so that they can look good. While fat kids are there thinking how awesome it would be if they are just a little more conforming to the norms of the society.

No one would really know how each other feel unless they have really been there.

The statement maybe harsh, but at the end of the day.

When we sit down and ask ourselves. Do we even know what we want?

How can we feel for others if we, don't even know what we want?

I seriously cannot watch lifestyle variety shows.

Like seriously. I would want to end up doing everything that the show had just covered.

When I am going to have an immunology UT that I think I will pretty much screw on Thursday.

How perfect? I shouldn't have gone to watch TV. So much for relaxing a bit.

1. Now I feel like erasing my nails and repainting them again.

2. Get my ass up and start jogging.

3. Find someone to jog with me. LOL.

These shows really make me feel I am sucha lazy ass which is a fact though. :/

I should really make a start to this. But how?

That's a question and reason to why I always end up giving up. Failure.

人。

瞥清了所有的虚假和面具的背后，我还是我。

我不是超人，我不会飞天吨地，我也不会飞檐走壁。

我就是我，一个贪生怕死，怕寂寞孤单，拿的起，放不下的无名小子。

我虽然表面上很坚强，不用你现在对我造成的伤害是你永远都弥补不回的。

就象一张有了污点的纸，就算用力的，使劲的想把它擦掉，痕迹依然存在。

因为你的所作所为，我们已经不可能回到原点了。

不管我有多努力，我对你的信任已经不会象以前一样的纯。

就算我自己有多想挽回这段友情，我还是过不了自己那关。

我不知道未来的路会是怎么样的。

不过，我希望不管最后的结局是什么，我都不要后悔。

So much things, but so little time!

Today, on a whole is simply just annoying. Like seriously annoying.

More annoying then your friend Annoying orange. :P

What's worst to come add to the load is the many many things that I have to do during the weekend. Whatever.

Yes, when you am in poly, weekends are just days that are not marked in your timetable to go to school. But still have piles of things waiting for me.

Checklist! /(' M ')\

1. RJ. My neverending dearest RJ.

It's always there. 4days in a row, always hunting me.

2. IG banner/poster

Have been dragging it. My fault. So no one to blame.

3. Cropping and editing the pictures for welcome tea.

+sending it to them to check it out.

4. Chunk of immunology notes

5. UT revision on Biochemistry :O !!!

6. Press on! Because I can do it!

Something that I have no confident in. But for the sake of my future and well-being. I will press on, even though life is seriously being a piece of shit.

One that's so much bigger during Os' or poly year1.

7. Find back my peace.

Ever since the holidays, I can't seemed to get peace that I want.

Just away from everything in the world. The internet, friends. Everything.

I wished that magical feeling when I am reading, drama-ing or drawing will just come back.

Come back soon okay, Mommy misses you a lot.

Kays, I think I better catch some sleep. I am preventing my eyes from closing while composing this post, feels like I am on drugs or something. HAHA.