Tuesday, September 17, 2013

歌的领悟。

在今晚的深夜里,突然有了想听听你的歌的冲动;《真心相对》。
听着,听着,有了和上一次不一样的领悟。

听着,听着,不经意的又想起了N年前为你做的疯狂事。
就是有那么一段曾经,我想的,说的,做的,全都是你。

回想着的过程里,才发现自己真的长大了。
曾经的狂言和幻想更显得自己自不量力。

这也难怪你最后选择转身离开。
曾经骄傲的作品,当时的你也因该那么觉得吧?

不成熟也好,脑进水也罢。什么理由都好。
我这段破烂的过去,抹不掉也忘不了,因为我就是有那么一段不堪回首的过去。

怎么的甩,这还是我的过去,也是建造了现在的我的一块大砖头。

换做是没了这块大砖头,我就因该不会是现在的我,也因此失去了多的教训和人生历练吧。

所以就那么《放了自己》吧!虽没办法和你续缘,直到现在,我还是珍惜着你来过我心中的烙印,也珍惜着因你而得到的福分和所有得到友情,打从心里的感谢。

虽想否认的,感谢你来到我的生活。


放了自己 放了回忆
放了世界不过如此而已
多少庆幸 多少风景
再放了之后才清晰




PS:深夜里怎么都是听这种吃力不讨好的个呀, 吃力的一半还选择跳tone. :3

Sunday, September 15, 2013

New yay yays. O(≧∇≦)O

Believe it or not, I FINALLY GOT A NEW WALLET. 
☆*・゜゚・*\(^O^)/*・゜゚・*☆

*Recovers from all the star throwing. Ahem.*

Happiness I am having now could be said to be indescribable by any forms of words. 
I FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY GOT A NEW WALLET. HAHA.
Yups, that's pretty much all that I can say.

Don't be too surprised why I got so happy with a wallet. 
If you know me well enough, I hadn't had a nice wallet since poly year 2 if I should say. 
Didn't knew what got into me, when I felt that I grew out of my trifold Velcro wallet and maybe that day, the heat in Singapore decide to fry my brains a little where I decided to randomly told my mom that I liked a pink wallet I happen to see on the counter while walking through OG. 

Guess what, whining to have a new wallet, my mom got into a decision to get me THAT pink wallet that I randomly said was nice and so I ended up with that. *clap clap*

It was great for a while since I did wanted to try out the different types of wallets and find out what was for me, since all I ever used was those billabong tri-fold wallets primary school kids would pimp up with a shiny dangling long chain across their shorts. 

Apart from that, I also felt that maybe I should make a change, make myself too feminine, get a lady's wallet. Well, pink was also always one of my favourite colour too. Soooooo. Yup. You get the drift.

*Releasing the inner diva in me~* 

It was till some time of usage that I realise that the wallet's huge, thick to be more specific. Definitely not convenient for someone like me who doesn't likes carrying bags around or stuffing my wallet into my pockets so I don't have to hold them and end up losing them (personal experiences; pockets good! Hold boo!) 

Therefore, out of all the misfits, I still carried on with that wallet, forcing to make that wallet fit my needs instead, dumping it around and trying to fit it in my back pocket if I really need to (Yup, I will have an unbalanced size butt cheeks if I do so.) and as time prolongs, wear and tear happens, even algae decide to grow on it. *nods* It's that bad. 


It's still a pretty nice wallet now that I looked at it once more, in fact there are really areas that I really liked such as the coin compartment and the huge card capacity, I even tried a few other girly wallets, longer ones, slimmer ones. They are good in their own way too, but no. Girly wallets, you don't fit me. Really. 
It's like a chinese saying. 勉强是没有幸福的。

That's how I pretty much knew that I had to find a new wallet.
Only this time round with a clearer agenda aside from only looks like the other time. 
I knew what kind of wallet I am looking for. 
Something slim, something classy and of course something that can fit my coins.
Through the various tries in between, I learnt the hard way that coins and phones are never good friends when they stay together. Sacrificed the corners of my iphone for that. BOOOOOO. 

The search was tough, nothing really fitted the bill for a really long time, it was either too ugly, not nice enough or no coin compartment. BOOOOO.

That was till I stumbled across, Bellroy. *The commercial tang tang tang. Haha.* 
I am serious. It was love at first sight, the contrast of the dark brown and the red leather, that's exactly my kind of colour. HOW CAN I NOT LOVE IT. 

I loved it to the extend that I was even ready to sallow the heavy price tag of $169 without any forms of research, but then again I was kinda lucky to the extend that my 21st was coming and everyone, yes, I am serious, everyone; wanted to get me a wallet, cause everyone knew how bad I am already hating my wallet but sadly, nothing really came, after a big round of wooha, I did received a wallet, a kate spade one, which was theoretically speaking more, more expensive than what I could expect for. 

But then again, it is a lady's wallet. Sure, it's pretty, in fact, I liked what I saw, but it's just simply too big. It's definitely a wallet I will carry, but just not now.

That aside, the point is, I still needed a new wallet. 

That's when I started doing research about this very product again, getting to know the plus points and sadly, like every other products, the negatives about this product. Sure, it's slim and such. Sure, it's pretty and such, but sadly, I got to find out that somewhere in the world. People around are not having a nice time using this wallet. There have been instances of people finding it too big, not being able to fit the capacity of cards as promised. The breakage of the leather, the leather being not being in a pristine when they first got it. Even one that really sort of broke the deal for me at one point of time. 

There was this guy on youtube, even had the side stitching of wallet coming off slowly on the first week of usage, and it was so bad that he had to tape it back with the use of super glue. Oh Lord. All that really got me thinking for a while whether this wallet was meant for me and therefore, plan bellroy got on hiatus for a while. 

WHILE I SUFFER WITH A LONG WALLET MY MOTHER GAVE ME.ヽ(≧Д≦)ノ It's so troublesome that I almost left it everywhere I went when I didn't carry a bag with me.

Well, that was until bellroy decided to again appear in my workplace and be sold there. 
I literally was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY

Plus the assurances from people around me, I finally bought it and till this very moment I can say that I am happy with my purchase. 


Just look at this baby! Even the unboxing process is nice. Just look at that packaging! 


Look at the details of the red stitching.  (´∀`)♡


The red part of the wallet that I fell in love with when I first saw it at cine. 
 (´∀`)♡  (´∀`)♡


The lining of the wallet. Just look at that. Not the boring lining you get with normal wallets!
 (´∀`)♡  (´∀`)♡  (´∀`)♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ SARANGHAE YO. 


After about relatively close to one week of usage, I can say that, although this wallet is fabulous from head to toe, it's seriously not perfect, but I like to phrase it another way, that I might have too little experiences with leather wallets as as can be seen from the pictures, it's only been one week of usage, the wallet is already showing signs of softening and aging. 




Just look at the edges, so heartbrokening especially when you are still having the hype of having a brand new wallet. 

Not something I experience from my previous wallets, maybe it's due to the fact that the leather itself is unsealed.
(Bear in mind with the fact that I have been taking good care of the wallet as it's new and also that I have seen another side of the wallets during my experiences of selling it, with the rough usage of customers with the display sets we display out on the sales floor. Our display sets are beaten up! Scratches and cramps.Oh, and not forgetting the youtube reviews!) 

This wallet needs to be taken care of. 
(Unlike my friend's Porter wallet! Looks so much more durable!) 

That's one part I feel rather disappointed especially with the fact that this wallet itself came with a big price tag. At least one that I felt was the biggest I ever had.

I didn't regret the fact that I got this wallet for the fact that I think that I must have some kinds of affinity with it since it still came back to me after so much. Call me Ms superstitious! HAHA. 

Just felt that this should be something that the company should think about. Especially when I am not the only one feeling that. 

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Half-woken confessions.

Pardon my language. It's currently 2:59 as I am composing this blog post.
Don't ask me why I am still awake so late at night, cause I have no idea why too.
Body clock's getting more and more screwed as the days passed and school is creeping faster and faster towards me with terrible load of things undone and ought to be done; as usual, procrastination at it's best from the Shermaine you know. Yup.

Nonetheless, it's this kinds of moments, late at night when my parents are asleep, my sister's asleep that here I am away from the noise. Away from everyone, just me and some good music. Maybe it's me feeling tired to always be the one entertaining the people around me, trying too hard to fit in and make everyone happy, although impossible, but that's what I am physically doing on a daily basis till I am barely making my end meets.

It's sure never fun to always be wearing a mask acting all happy and joyous.
Yes, indeed I have to admit, I never had the guts of making anyone unhappy, I never had the guts to stand up for myself, whatever I am feeling and receiving now is full self-brought upon.
No one to blame but myself, but me.

Hence the need of my time alone, irony to say. All these pleasing from avoiding what I am afraid of, makes all these time alone, meaningful and precious to me as this is the only period where I can be truly what I am and the only rare moments I would be willing to face the real me.

Call me a night owl, a title I will gladly accept. :3


Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Sudden realization.

Most of the times in life, instead of cherishing what I already have, I ponder over what I had, what I could have or what I should have bought. 

Like that iPod classic I should have got instead of the iPod touch I should have now. 

Or "OMG, the new iPod touch is SOOOOO COOL." 

Or even, "Shit, why am I so fat that I can't wear this shirt/blouse/pants that I really like!!! TSK.

All the tsk, tsk, tsk, but tonight. A sudden realization. I'm actually happy of what I'm having. Many of which many people might be craving/wishing or simply just dying to have. 

Tonight, I'm feeling contented with that slight tinge of gratitude. I'm really a lucky and fortunate kid. 


I hope I stay feeling that way. I really hope. 


Sunday, September 8, 2013

内心里那个小女孩。

不幸中的不幸,自从发育后,本人资质就达不到标准女生应该有的。不论是说身材,样貌或气质。自从发育以后,就像金三角内的船只离奇失踪。

可能,以前年纪还小,不觉得怎么样,甚至还试着因为自己的容貌和身材而试着改变自己,让自己能够融入别人给我的标准。

这是多年来,我可以说什么风格都尝试过了;娇滴滴风,帅气风,庞克风,反正就是入流的,不入流的,我都试过。

可惜的是,我最后选择的并不是让我最舒服,最让我做回我自己的那个风格,而是选择了让我最能逃避世俗眼光而融入人群的风格。

我不知道我到何时才能做回自己,我也不知道何时才能够走回自己想要走的风格。

躲在我心里的小女孩,坚持住。
A change is going to come. 

Keep on believing, one day, you will have your moment. 

To put on a dress that you always wanted, with a perfect complexion and a Prince Charming. 











😴😪😯😲😱😫😩😁 Now wake up. 

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Packing.

Since I am charging my phone with nothing better to do, let's talk about packing.
HAHA. Sudden inspiration to write! :3

Had a chat with a friend just a while ago, with my mom nagging once in a while asking me to do this and that for her. I mean seriously, can't you wait a little? Got me into thinking what's gotten into her recently with her all new revolution of keeping the house clean and tidy, throwing out things all at a shot, trying to change us all at one shot. Shouting at us, forcing us to do at her beck and call.

*Imagine Cinderella and her God mother.* Yup. That's pretty much how I felt.

To be honest, I know I have never ever ever been in the definition of a neat person, but that doesn't mean I enjoy being messy. Maybe it has always been the fact that I have got a maid since a very young age and I never had to get my hands on doing anything and there will always be a little "genie" at my beck and call, helping me to get things done. Not that it's anything bad, but it's because of that, that I never got to cultivate any forms of good tidying habits, because no matter how I place my things, or misplace, it would be in that same spot for me after some time or the other. GREAT JOB.

I am not trying to blame for anyone, or anything. I clearly know what my mother is trying to do, but please, before I go out of my mind with the great amount of changes pile with the nerve-wrecking amount of nagging. PLEASE STOP.

Let me change myself one step at a time. This is your house alright. You want it to be clean, but that is my room, my stuff. Let me do the changes by myself. So what if I am messy. I am trying already. SO STOP IT. It doesn't mean that I ain't doing no shit just because you ain't seeing much differences in the room day after day. I am not Harry potter with a magic wand.

Sometimes, I really wished that I was a clean freak with zero tolerance with mess. Maybe then, I could keep up with my mom's tempo, but currently, I AM SERIOUSLY ENOUGH OF YOUR SHIT.

THE WORLD DON'T REVOLVE AROUND YOU. STOP IT.