I know from a long hiatus from the blog writing, a good and cheery post would do all good, but sadly, tonight is not the night.
Ever since maid had left the family, I can gladly say that there's a huge change in how life is, how the true colour of things slowly shows and little and insignificant can we be.
Don't tell me love and kinship all through all odds bullshit, 'cause all I am sensing now is tension.
I hate how the culture of the family have changed ever since the maid left.
I hate how now's all about tension, stress and restrictions in the family.
I hate coming home to an empty and messy house everyday, tensed as ever knowing that at any time I would be yelled at for doing things that seemed to be so insignificant in the past.
I hate you for being so unreasonable of small things because you are tired, and you just want to vent everything out.
I hate it when I become your venting outlet and every form of harsh words comes right out from your fucking mouth like blades to my soul.
I hate the tension we now have between us.
I hate that feeling that I don't even feel like talking to you.
I hate how I can't even feel relaxed in my own home.
I hate how I have lost the whole feeling of truly slacking and relaxed at home.
I hate how now I feel that even going out doing nothing is better than staying at home.
I hate how I feel like I don't want to ever be in this place.
I hate how I feel so immature due to all this tension and shit going through.
I hate the everything and anything that have changed when the moment my maid left home.
I want my life back.
But, I know it's impossible. Fuck.