Don't ask me why I am still awake so late at night, cause I have no idea why too.
Body clock's getting more and more screwed as the days passed and school is creeping faster and faster towards me with terrible load of things undone and ought to be done; as usual, procrastination at it's best from the Shermaine you know. Yup.
Nonetheless, it's this kinds of moments, late at night when my parents are asleep, my sister's asleep that here I am away from the noise. Away from everyone, just me and some good music. Maybe it's me feeling tired to always be the one entertaining the people around me, trying too hard to fit in and make everyone happy, although impossible, but that's what I am physically doing on a daily basis till I am barely making my end meets.
It's sure never fun to always be wearing a mask acting all happy and joyous.
Yes, indeed I have to admit, I never had the guts of making anyone unhappy, I never had the guts to stand up for myself, whatever I am feeling and receiving now is full self-brought upon.
No one to blame but myself, but me.
Hence the need of my time alone, irony to say. All these pleasing from avoiding what I am afraid of, makes all these time alone, meaningful and precious to me as this is the only period where I can be truly what I am and the only rare moments I would be willing to face the real me.
Call me a night owl, a title I will gladly accept. :3
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