Monday, August 17, 2020

 Hi blog. 

It's been long since I have written anything for myself. 

It has been a hectic year, goodness, I swear. 

Since the time I have fell out of love, picked myself up. 

I lost some weight, I fell in love again, and then came COVID-19 *dramatic music* 

Since then it seemed like everything has changed. Everything. 

From the way we work to the way we meet people. 

To be frank, I am still a little intimidated by how everything pulled out even though I am kinda getting used to living life like that and don't really think we can ever lived like we did in the past anymore.

And... honestly, I am having some pretty mixed thoughts today. 

I am kinda doubting the way I am living my life, if this is the right way. 

I am not blaming on the pandemic, but the pandemic has changed many things, my parents' career, job stability and even the way we date and love, ever since working from home was a thing, so many things changed. 

My own home isn't a haven anymore. I mean it's great, I love it and all, but it's not a haven. 

It seemed like I have started my home runaway ordeal again, avoiding all the come-what-mays (but trust me when I tell you it is so much harder with COVID,with all the social distancing and all, seats n the cafe have reduced by at least half, so even if money is not the issue, because of expensive coffee. I can't get no seats, people) 

I am lucky enough to find another haven... but the feeling of troubling him is daunting. 

Feels like I owe him a favour every single time and it's tormenting to know how much it would hurt my parents, should they know I am doing this every single day just to stay afloat and productive. 


I used to think, things will get better when I find an opportunity to leap ahead, but things doesn't seemed so easy afterall when there's an opportunity. 

To say it more blatantly, is that opportunity ahead, the right opportunity or is it... another black hole...?