I'm just that zombie.

I don't know why I would break down today. At this moment.

Maybe my inner self is surpressing all this a little too long and a little too hard.

And maybe I just don't want my sister to go through the same path as I did.

Even though it will be a little unfair for me then.

能救一个是一个。

Maybe, also, I am just sick and tired of being a zombie, going to school everyday without a fucking aim. Just going to school, for the grades, for the expectations. It's tiring.

This is not the life, I wanted, I wanted my kind of life to be exciting.

I want to live with burning passion, to do what I love, what I am good at.

But what can I do?

This night had proven everything.

Struggling and breaking down would just show to others how weak you are inside.

At the end of the day, even how much I struggle, nothing will change. Nothing.

After tonight, I will still be a Republic poly student, taking a diploma in Biomedical sciences.

With a fucking GPA that me and my parents are not satisfied with.

Best solution is just to continue to be that freaking zombie that empty vessel and pretend nothing happen. I am still happy and contented with every day. There's nothing wrong with me.

There's nothing wrong with me.

At least that the least I can do. For now.