I am currently at a Starbucks near home. Very near home.
The sad thing about this post is, I am not at a starbucks because I want to or because I needed to get shit done... technically; in the state of mind. (I actually have shit that needs to be done)
It's because I don't want to go home. Yup. At 27, I don't want to go home.
If someone told the Shermaine at 17 YO, trust me.
She will be laughing so hard her belly would explode.
It's so weird that things changed so much within these 2 years.
How I decided to start on an uni degree, how I decided to get a license.
How I have decided I wanted changes in my life; I wanted to better myself, I started supporting myself, I wanted somebody, I fell for somebody and ... the list goes on.
So much have changed, even my family. Till now, I don't really know what changed the equation, what made me changed.
Now I really look up to people who has a shitty upbringing and still made it.
I really applaud, because my life feels like it's falling in shambles.
I really applaud, because my life feels like it's falling in shambles.
It feels like I am just on doses of morphine through dosage of support from friends.
Support on people that I should not support/ lean on.
It seriously made me feel that, I don't deserve to have anyone.
Somewhat, somewhere, this is not the life I envisioned myself to have.
I hope some time down the road, things will be better.
People always say, family, they are your strongest rapport. Your greatest asset.
I envy that.
I envy that.
I just hope, my family stop screwing up with me.
Please.
I am sorry you have to read on a 27 YO rant like she's 17.
I guess I bloomed late.
