当初放弃了出国生造的机会也不就因为你们说在国内念，你们前的方面会宽松很多，可是你们的一举一动真的让我很难想象和兑现。

说没钱，还不是pattern 多过badminton 的买了两只能够共我念完整个大学的名表。

买完名表后又和我说现在钱周转不灵，叫我钱少用点，省点用。

有时在想，你时不时当我要出国念书时说我自私只顾着自己前途时，到底真正自私的人有是谁呀。

明明就有能力可是却说没有，明明就却只是想把我留在你身边，却转身和我说你没钱。

反正怎么样都会没钱，倒不如就让我出国算了。

可是，我现在又能怎么样，生米煮成熟饭，后悔也要自己扛，毕竟是自己心软，自己放弃，自己没坚持。

全是自己的错。

我真的很讨厌自己。讨厌自己那么没用。

Sometimes, I wished I wasn't the one inclined in photo editing in the group. A skill great to have, useful to have around. A torture to execute. Countless rounds of editing, unneeded amount of stress to create perfection and meeting expectations. 😔

To be honest, tonight I would rather be the computer moron sleeping my night off doing nothing. 

I'm not blaming anyone, I had my candies when it was my turn, but... I'm tired of having to just keep doing. 

Hopefully, this is the last. 

I have been photoshopping for too long of a time since I can remember that I think it fried my brains.